remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I woke up under a house in Key West
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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