While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
