Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
