I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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