i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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