Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
