whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
