3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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