i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
