wat bout pragnant strippers??
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize