too bad you live with your parents still
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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