We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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