Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woke up backwards on a recliner
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
