saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
