it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
