Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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