90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
