the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
