:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I understand Curling. That high.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
