i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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