how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
