I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
