Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am midnight drunk by noon
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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