STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
