We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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