OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
