elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
