what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
