Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
