Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
