Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
