I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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