I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize