so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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