I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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