to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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