I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
