would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
