sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
