ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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