She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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