You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
