but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
this boner is exhausting
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
