yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
They took my balls.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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