Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
