before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
