Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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