I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Blood and glitter go together right?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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