woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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