Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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