I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize