Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
