Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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