yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
my liver is dry heaving
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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