My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
