Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
