I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
