i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We need to rekindle our bromance
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What drink are we having for lunch?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
