is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
